Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
When Kershaw pitches, why show up?
There’s better things to do — wise up!
Hang decorations from your stirrups
Take up pottery and throw a cup
Go to Tindr for quick hookups
Inventory your Dixie cups
Visit a shelter and adopt a pup
Invent a new, no-glute ketchup
Lip-synch “Build Me Up Buttercup”
But don’t take your at-bat. Just give up.
Pull Lester for Monty and Strop?
Joe Maddon should look like a dope
But Miggy’s grand slam
Hit him out of a jam
Stop giving the pen enough rope!
Here’s what I say
Crime doesn’t always pay
Harper stole a base
and Murphy’s hot bat
All in the same play
Durocher tells this story
How Mays hit a ball
High up off the wall
But stopped at first
And watched the ball fall
So McCovey who hit next
Could hit one over the wall
Raphael Badagliacca is the author of The Yogi Poems and Fathers Day.
I pity the Nats fans who bailed
When the strength of an early lead failed.
If I’m no mistaker,
Dusty’s still a half-baker,
And the city’s hopes all lie de-railed.
Don’t bore us with numbers or stats
Or stories of goats and black cats
Nix chapter and verse
About crap like “the curse”–
Just bring on the Dodgers or Nats.