Autumn’s New Retirees

by James Finn Garner

Before the Fall gets underway,
Let us doff our caps and say
Goodbye to those who’ll junk their cleats,
Leave the park and walk the streets.

Super-versatile Angel Chone
Will now be the utility man at home.
Grant Balfour, hothead Aussie,
Can only fume when his wife gets bossy.

Phil Humber’s vaunted perfect game
Was his sole stat worth noting (such a shame).
The Prince has trouble with his neck–
He’ll inspire no more fear on-deck.

Tex and A-Rod will leave the Yanks
And all their fans will mumble thanks,
While Raf Soriano has called an end
To tell war stories, a fine fireman.

But let’s not forget the other guys,
Young tyros once, with starry eyes,
Who gave their all but somehow missed
The general manager’s call-up list.

They’re just as key to the game as any
Adam LaRoche or Brad Penny.
Talent, drive and dreams they bid,
Just like us when we were kids.

 

Fordham’s Second Great Flash

by the Village Elliott

One year longer than, on earth, I’ve been here,
Dodger fans, first in Flatbush, would hear . . .
Til Brooklyn’s heart’s busted . . .
Then L.A. adjusted
To Voice who taught the Game loud and clear.

In three-score seven years “Bums’ Spoken”,
No one claimed Vin Scully’s home-chokin’.
Fordham’s “Second Great Flash”
Longtime broadcasting smash
“Length of Service” will remain unbroken.

 

Mystery Date

by James Finn Garner

An unknown  team has claimed Yasiel Puig
It could be one in either league
But we can guess, despite paltry news,
That it’s a squad without much to lose.

 

Baseball’s Mysterious Ways

by the Village Elliott

Baseball works in mysterious ways.
Jints swept first nine games with Padres.
Though last three Pods swept,
Jints’ division lead kept
Because Bums lost two in same three days.