National League West 2015 Spring Training Haiku
By Stuart Shea
Diamondbacks
One perfect lesson:
“Toughness” is no replacement
for smarts and talent
Rockies
The car will not go
if Car-Go cannot go for
more than half the trip
Dodgers
If Vin Scully calls
a game on SportsNet LA,
does anyone hear?
Padres
Best way to catch flies?
Simple. Put shit in your field!
Oh, wait…they’ve tried that
Giants
The World Champions
now go begging for alms to
replace their lost pence
You Make the Call
by the Village Elliott
Ain’t Pete Carroll, but Charlie Dressen,
Made worst sports call. History lesson:
Jints Thompson called, “Thank-a
God, he called Ralph Branca!”
Call Flatbush calls “Bums’ Most Depressin’!”
What I Learned from Ernie Banks
by James Finn Garner
From Jackie Robinson
I learned about grace under the gun
From Satchel Paige
I learned of the illusions of age
From Dick Allen
I learned never to give in
From Hammerin’ Hank Aaron
I learned to keep on keepin’ on
But from Ernie Banks
I learned to give thanks.
RIP. Let’s play two, forevermore.
No Tears Here
by Joshua Roth
After 57 years of mourning and booze,
I’m still elated to see L.A. lose.
No heroics. No ninth inning rally.
I’ll hate you forever –Walter O’Malley.
Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!