Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
ARIZONA
As snakes in the grass
Lie in wait for their prey…Nah.
This team is just old.
COLORADO
Wise beyond his years,
or simply out of his league?
Walt Weiss’ springtime.
LOS ANGELES
Gold, silver, riches
beyond all compare will buy
just one Zack Greinke.
SAN DIEGO
At least it’s always
a lovely place to work on
The perfect suntan.
SAN FRANCISCO
Ladies: when seeking
wealthy East Bay pensioners,
Look for Series rings.
There is nothing to speak of, so far
Except, maybe, mega-contracts, buying the World Series
and demonic trades, and key pre-season injuries
The Yankees are back with battered fixations
The Marlins are simply trade-and-bait
The Nationals are openly trepadacious
The Phillies are, well, on the clock
San Francisco, so far, is blowing smoke
Los Angeles is spending its bank
. . . and the list goes on
Summertime passion is now full-time
obsession and has little to do with “the game”
The Dodgers no longer
in numbing divorce court
a clubhouse no longer
undermined by McCourt
is playing baseball
and playing it well
Don Mattingly bringing out
the best of players no one’s
heard of (maybe/maybe not)
but now #1 in the standings
It is a “team” playing Donnie’s
Baseball brand which merits praise
Twice
One Strike
From a World Series win
The Rangers
Fail to close out
The Cards
Was Bart Giamatti right
When he wrote
That baseball was designed
To break your heart
Or will Ranger fans find
Like the Dodgers in “55”
Or the Red Sox in “04”
Redemption is often
Only an October away
Battered team comes through
Ramirez provides the pop
Axford save streak on
Michael Fiers the man!
First big-league start a winner
pitches seven strong
Surprising winners
three straight versus league’s best team
rag-tag team comes through
4 game sweep complete
Crew has newfound momentum
That’s why we play ’em
Tom Martin writes haiku for every single Brewer game. Follow him on Twitter @brew_haiku.