The Ballad of Scott Podsednik (Sung to “I’m Movin’ On”)

By Joyce Heiser

Came out of high school, stayed in Texas awhile
Seems he just couldn’t make it all seem worthwhile
He’s movin’ on. He’s movin’ on.
Rangers said “So long son, go enjoy the sun”
He’s Marlin gone.

Minor leagues kept trading, kept cutting him loose
Never was the engine, just a little caboose
Seven years rolled on, they just moved on.
Finally majored a run in 2000 and 1
Would they keep him on?

Another year came and another deal too,
Milwaukee got him in 2002,
He still moved on, he was there and gone.
Led the league in base steals, tried to keep it real,
But they moved him on.

Chicago was home for a few good years
Got a World Series ring, a girl with bunny ears,
He’s carryin’ on, maybe he’ll stay on.
But another year came, and another ball game,
He packed and was gone.

Up in the mountains, till 2009,
Back to bat that year in the White Sox line,
Another movin’ on, another hometown gone.
Even though he had fans, Chicago had other plans
And they let him move on.

One year with the Royals, still stealing some base,
Let him go to the Dodgers, problems slowing his pace.
Trouble movin’ on, released and on his own.
Try up North, play the West, half-a-year at best
So he’s movin’ on.

Finally landed in Philly, more like Lackawanna
Scranton doesn’t really sound like baseball nirvana.
Will he be movin’ on?  Sing that travelin’ song?
Thirteen teams, eighteen years, Hard to change your gears
And keep movin’ on.

 

2012 NL West Prediction Haiku

By Stuart Shea

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS
Over(bay) the Miles,
Young men climb Upton a Hill—
This poet’s a Putz

COLORADO ROCKIES
The prime of one’s life
Ends around 40 for all
But Jamie Moyer

LOS ANGELES DODGERS
It’s a Magic time!
Millionaires swap property
And the fans go wild

SAN DIEGO PADRES
Highly paid jocks in
Military uniforms?
A bullshit salute

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
The Posey’s a bloom
That needs strong roots around it
Not these flimsy sticks

For Sale

by Stephen Jones

Sale: Storied Franchise
By McCourt in divorce court
Call: 1-800-Bailout

The Dodgers May Be Bankrupt

by Stephen Jones

The Dodgers may be bankrupt
But the team is not Frank McCourt

Player personnel should not be
Argued part of personal finance
Or a sticking part of ugly divorce

But he’s twined off-the-field calamity
With baseball history
And proved successfully

Frank McCourt is truly
A “dodger” financially