by Jim McLennan
An overweight pitcher named Russ
Made Diamondbacks fans swear and cuss.
Paid eight million to hurl,
He threw like a girl.
We wish he’d fall under a bus.
Posted 8/2/07Â
Ode to My Favorite Relief Pitcher
by Thelma Parker
Tom Martin can really throw the ball,
And I think, but I’m not sure, that Tom is kind of tall.
If Tom Martin ever goes, I will cry.
That day will make me want to die,
I will not lie.
Tom Martin is like the sun
And I am the earth,
Revolving around him.
Tom Martin is the earth,
And I am the moon,
Mooning over him.
There is no pitcher ever as good as he.
He is in all of my fantasies.
I think that Tom should never get a day off,
It’s the only way the Rockies will ever make the playoffs.
Posted 7/31/07Â
Two from Millie Bovich
 Statistics required perusal
And then came a full-fledged accusal.
Some numbers do lie
Take a look at the guy,
They’ve proven a B. Bonds bamboozle!
Barry Bonds! He’s the muscle-bound Giant
With the rules, he is just non-compliant.
He comes extra large size
Check his biceps and thighs,
And his manner is somewhat defiant!
Posted 7/30/07Â
Barry Bonds Limerick #16
by NaryBarry
Barry Bonds is a fearsome home run hitter
Who sends all his fans into quite a twitter.
His manhood has not shrunk
From that steroid junk–
Maybe the judge will be an acquiter.
Barry Bonds #15
by Phil Lacovara
The melonhead, he was a Giant,
About steroids, he didn’t mind lyin’,
With the Cream and the Clear,
Into pitchers he struck fear,
‘Til into BALCO, the law started pryin’.
7/23/07Â