Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Now we’ve missed our chance to know
Of Tucupita Marcano
He wasn’t the next DiMaggio
But not everyone can be a hero
MLB said he’s got to go
For treating his phone like a casino
The bets he made — 400 or so —
Made his sportsbook dime him, bro!
Betting is here to stay, so
Get used to stories like Marcano’s
Owners love nothing but centavos
Ruined lives are the quid pro quo
Shohei steals a base
his hundredth in MLB
trumps all other news
Harper’s harrumphs are too much for some umps.
Do his protests go over the line?
With one bearded sneer, he plays them for chumps,
’til it’s “Bat down, now go grab some pine!”
Phillies’ Harper Calls Ump Unprofessional After Controversial Ejection
Photo credit: Yahoo Sports
The Hall of Fame’s had guys
Named Mordecai,
Rabbit, Gabby, Ducky,
Old Hoss
and Kiki,
Lefty, Frankie, Connie,
and Pie,
Grover, Honus, Napoleon,
Dizzy, Dazzy
and Cy.
Now there’ll be a Todd?
Feels odd.
Shohei lays down bunt
despite ugly aesthetic
universe bewitched
