For Sale
by Stephen Jones
Sale: Storied Franchise
By McCourt in divorce court
Call: 1-800-Bailout
Cardinals: Don’t Hate Us Cuz We Win
by Alan P. Rudy
A Cubs fan laments of Cardinal success,
In the face of Philly’s utter Yankee-ness,
And Arizona’s owner’s militant anti-immigrant mess,
Of Milwaukee’s ties to the Commish’s anti-player caress…
Fans of cursed fate are sad to witness.
Post-Season Prediction Doggerel
by James Finn Garner
All the network media dorks
Sing the praises of New York
They hate visiting places strange
Like Motown and the Texas Range
They’d rather crawl through Gotham sewers
Than watch the Snakes or Rays or Brewers.
They’re happy as a dog with bone
To stay in th’ Eastern Time Zone.
But Yankees pitching ain’t worth a lick.
The Phillies are my pick, in six.
Tighten Your Beltran
By Stuart Shea
When Carlos Beltran came to the Bay,
He was supposed to hit SF’s troubles away.
Fans think his RBI count’s a disgrace,
But you can’t drive in runners
Who aren’t on base.
Ubaldo Ambition
by James Finn Garner
The Indians’ move was U-bold-o
Getting Jimenez away from the Rockies.
Their hot idea might end up cold, though,
If his outings continue so schlocky.
