Go-juu/Go-juu, 50/50

by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza

In Japan, on July 5, 1994,
A mama flipped a coin;
A papa flipped it once more.

Go-juu/Go-juu: a Japanese number, now Dodger Blue!

Glove in hand, Papa wanted a boy;
Hugging a doll, Mama wanted a girl.
Regardless, their healthy child was a joy.

Go-juu/Go-juu: a Japanese number, now Dodger Blue!

On a Miami night, some 30 years later,
Some fans wanted a stolen base,
Others wanted a 400-foot homer.

Ain’t a swifty 50/50 out-of-the-ballpark nifty!

For all baseball fans, what a joyous treat
To watch Shohei Otani
Achieve his tremendous feat.

Ain’t a swifty 50/50 out-of-the-ballpark nifty!

 

Mr. 51-51

by Fred Lovato

Historic milestone
proof positive that Shohei’s
not from this planet

Los Angeles Dodgers’ Shohei Ohtani (17) reacts after hitting his 50th home run of the season during the seventh inning of a baseball game against the Miami Marlins, Thursday, Sept. 19, 2024, in Miami. (AP Photo/Marta Lavandier)

Tommy’s Guarantee

by Tommy Lasorda

I have never, ever,
since I managed,
ever
told a pitcher to throw at anybody,
nor will I ever.

And if I ever did,
I certainly wouldn’t
make him throw
at a
f–king .130 hitter like Lefebvre
or f–king Bevacqua,
who couldn’t hit water
if he fell
out of a f–king boat.

And I guaran-f–king-tee you this:
When I pitched
and I was going to pitch against a team
that had guys on it
like Bevacqua,
I sent a f–king limousine
to get the c–ksucker
to make sure
he was in the motherf–king lineup
because I kicked that c–ksucker’s ass
any day of the week.

He’s a f–king motherf–king big mouth,
I’ll tell you that.