Brandon’s No Babe, But Shohei What!

by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza

What’s he doing out there
on the pitching mound?
He looks more like a bear
than a throwing hound.

Position players
say their prayers,
when the manager
says, “You’re my reliever.”

Babe Ruth began his career
with a pitch that hitters feared.
But when he traded in his ball,
His bat made him Bunyanesque tall.

When Brandon Crawford pitched
Batters were not bewitched.
He had an astronomical 27.00 ERA.
So what, he wasn’t even batting his weight.

Some say Triple Crown threat Shohei never shoulda
Pitched, even if imitate Cy Young he coulda.
But over a 162-game season,
Let’s have some fun with batting/pitching treason.

Dr. Oza’s novel Double Play sits at the intersection of Ernie Banks’ Cubs, the Negro Leagues, riding the El, wrongful convictions, immigration and friendship. It will be published in October 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.

All-Star Clerihews #3: Clerihews Redux

Kirby Yates
Would follow a website that rates
The performances of Kate Winslet
Based on her accent.

Ketel Marte
Would eat banana cream parfaits
At every meal, but doesn’t because
His contract has a weight-gain clause.

Steven Kwan
Will drone on and on
About investing in Bitcoin
Because he’s got the acumen of a pork loin.

Trea Turner
Is a slow learner
3 times invested with Steven Kwan!
Man, that money’s gone gone gone…