Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

Is Haiku foolish?
For the national pastime?
Heavens, I hope not.

NL West
Arizona
Nice guys finish last
Crabby managers do win
They still need pitching

Los Angeles
Is money the key?
It can bring in the big names
No, it’s the scouting

Colorado
Thin air skews his stats.
Is Todd a Hall of Famer?
No, probably not

San Francisco
We won it all twice…
With an absence of offense
Only even years

San Diego
A beautiful park
The only Hall of Famer
Is up in the booth

NL East
Atlanta
Fourteen in a row
Is not so impossible
It might start this year

Washington
First picks starting games
Davey says this is his last
A doormat no more

Philadelphia
A team on the rise
They are not now any more
We all miss Harry

New York
A small pantheon
But will be growing soon now
Matt Harvey’s a star

Miami
Was ever team
More worthy than its owner
To be in the Bigs?

NL Central
St. Louis
The league’s best record
They have birds on their jerseys
We all will miss Stan

Pittsburgh
A great tradition
Lives on in the memory of fans
Maybe the year’s here!

Cincinnati
Phillips is wondrous
The rest are outstanding too
It’s Dusty’s last year

Chicago
The city’s windy
Is anything more constant
Than fans’ apathy?

Milwaukee
Segura is great
John Axford is clean shaven
Nicest fans ever

 

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.

Four Ways of Looking at an All-Star

(With apologies to Wallace Stevens)

By Stuart Shea

Would the Cubs be good
Without Travis Wood?
(What the hell are you talking about?
They’re still 14 games out.)

J.J. Hardy
Is often tardy,
Which you can plainly see
From his OBP of .293.

Perhaps it is silly
To cite Jason Grilli
As a reason for the Bucs’ success.
But without him, it’d be a mess.

The Pods will have a scare-a
If Everth Cabrera
Is suspended as rumored–
Bud will be Black-humored.

 

2013 NL West Prediction Haiku

By Stuart Shea

ARIZONA
As snakes in the grass
Lie in wait for their prey…Nah.
This team is just old.

COLORADO
Wise beyond his years,
or simply out of his league?
Walt Weiss’ springtime.

LOS ANGELES
Gold, silver, riches
beyond all compare will buy
just one Zack Greinke.

SAN DIEGO
At least it’s always
a lovely place to work on
The perfect suntan.

SAN FRANCISCO
Ladies: when seeking
wealthy East Bay pensioners,
Look for Series rings.

Rizzo to the Rescue

by James Finn Garner

Despite the choke he’d had before
(When called to the Show by the Pods),
Our Tony’s moving up to Wrigley now
To seek the blessing of baseball’s gods.

Will he take the Cubs to new heights?
Knock the pill out on Waveland Avenue?
At least he’ll put some bums in seats
‘Cuz Ricketts needs the revenue.

Phil Hughes, What Happened to the Dream?

by David Bellel

 

Hughes, what happened to the dream?
You were once wonderful
The future ace of the team

What happened to the fastball of yours?
Now just a bp, gopher ball of yours
Batters granted big smiles from yours,
Sadly and truly.

Hughes, a juicer under a cloud?
We should have traded you away
But the gashman didn’t allow
We’d have IPK to ourselves
Alone and apart.
Not on a Padre team
But safe into our hearts.