Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Edwin Jackson
Might have some action
Left in his fastball, batters fear,
‘Cuz Baltimore signed him
His “best” years behind him
His 12th team in 14 years.
Buck, it’s a mirage–
He can’t hit a garage,
Throws as straight as a cluster of starlings.
Looks like Duquette’s
Willing to forget
His results with the Cubs and the Marlins.
And the Tigers.
And the Padres.
And the Braves.
And the White Sox.
And the Dodgers.
And probably the Pilots.
Baseball works in mysterious ways.
Jints swept first nine games with Padres.
Though last three Pods swept,
Jints’ division lead kept
Because Bums lost two in same three days.
Phillies’ fan faithful usually
Don’t have much to cheer about,
But thank you Vince Velasquez
For 16 Ks and a shutout.
(Philly blanked San Diego —
It was 3-0 —
And turned the Padres nosh
Into a hero.)
The Padres, they can’t score a run
No foolin’, they haven’t scored one!
The three games they’ve played
All goose eggs they’ve laid
Nil, nada, zilch, bupkus and none.