Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
In honor of Gaylord Perry, whose statue was unveiled at Pac Bell Park on Saturday:
Giant statue of Giant legit,
Cy Young sculptured bronze polished in spit.
Cooperstown ends career,
Hurler started right here:
Gaylord Perry expectorates it.
Baseball works in mysterious ways.
Jints swept first nine games with Padres.
Though last three Pods swept,
Jints’ division lead kept
Because Bums lost two in same three days.
Clayton Kershaw
Prefers Shaw
Over Ibsen
If he had to put dibs in.
Mark Trumbo
Likes all his shrimp jumbo
And when he orders, it takes
A shovel to serve his Baltimore crab cakes.
Mookie Betts
Likes all kinds of pets
But he has no use
For cockatuse.
Buster Posey
We don’t want to be nosey
But why do the #Giants even appear
At games in odd-numbered years?
For the McCovey Cove Splash Hit at Pac Bell Park
Two years since last adjusting “Splash Sign”,
Brandon Belt smashed Splash Hit 69.
Since Belt hit 68,
Reckon it’s Brandon’s fate
To splash next one when stars realign.
Visitors have splashed 17 more.
Three foes hit three each, no one’s hit four.
Over half Jints’ number
Off Barry Bond’s lumber–
Quite impressive when smashed splash hits soar.