by the Village Elliott
Jints fans cheered first game, won nine to none,
“Sweep next two, leapfrog Bums, they is done!”
.    But next 19 runs said,
.    “Jints blanked leapfrog is dead,
Doubt Kershaw will lose final one.”
On Watching Buster Posey Hit Homers #6 and #7
By Stuart Shea
Not to be nosey,
Buster Posey,
But what has taken so long
For your bat to shower
The Giants with power?
I miss that “Bye Bye, Baby” song!
Tarp Bailout
by James Finn Garner
Of all the things that vex the Cubs —
That same sad old refrain —
From day games to Bartman to billy goats
We can add to that roster “rain”.
Rolling out the tarp may look simple
Hardly “mechanical”, ’tis true
Yet what can go wrong surely will go wrong
For those bleeding Cubby blue
The Giants have something to play for
And were lucky to get the game suspended.
The Cubs are still playing “Chicago’s Got Talent!”
But watching them can’t be recommended.
The Baseball That Ate Hollywood!
by Bob Nemtusak
“Come on, Hobbs! You’re up!!”
Pick up a bat, and do it!
The Cubs fans blamed Steve Bartman.
Who’s to say?
Seems like they blew it.
Pierzynski punched Cubs catcher–
Now A.J.’s Saint Louis red;
Oakland has some Athletics,
Coco puts pitchers to bed.
Another earthquake series?
White Sox got Cy Young, and Rookie.
Shave those beards–
You lot not Wookiees
All-Star Clerihews #2
by Hugh Manatee
Zach Greinke
Is feeling hinky
And regrets his wish
For bottomless Minnesota hot dish.
Hunter Pence
Ended the suspense:
He scares both adults and kids
Cuz he was tragically born without eyelids.
Dellin Betances
Will take his chances,
Gird up his junk-a
And take a dive into Lake Minnetonka.
Derek Jeter
Is a 14-time All-Star repeater
And, if we trust the announcers,
Also invented sliced bread, the Internet and trousers.
Nelson Cruz
Has got nothing to lose.
Though Selig may wince,
He’s gonna show up at the game dressed as Prince