Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Statistics required perusal
And then came a full-fledged accusal.
Some numbers do lie
Take a look at the guy,
They’ve proven a B. Bonds bamboozle!
Barry Bonds! He’s the muscle-bound Giant
With the rules, he is just non-compliant.
He comes extra large size
Check his biceps and thighs,
And his manner is somewhat defiant!
Posted 7/30/07
by NaryBarry
Barry Bonds is a fearsome home run hitter
Who sends all his fans into quite a twitter.
His manhood has not shrunk
From that steroid junk–
Maybe the judge will be an acquiter.
by Phil Lacovara
The melonhead, he was a Giant,
About steroids, he didn’t mind lyin’,
With the Cream and the Clear,
Into pitchers he struck fear,
‘Til into BALCO, the law started pryin’.
7/23/07
They call him the masculine tower
He can hit a home run with such power,
From San Fran’s west coast
And so quick with the boast
“I can do it again in an hour”!
Every fan now has reason to ponder
Every long ball that’s hit way out yonder,
Is the batter legit
Or a crass hypocrite
And a good-name-of-baseball absconder?
From the city of quaint San Francisco
And a blast from his muscular wrist, oh.
Plus a shot in his thigh
You should see the ball fly,
To the town of San Luis Obispo
by Steve Fiffer
Tho’ his head is as big as a melon
And he soon may be pegged as a felon,
He seems not to care,
Will admit to no error…
No wonder B. Bonds just ain’t sellin’.
7/3/07