Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
So many new faces on the Yankee roster —
Triple A-ers getting fan attention —
And it felt like April, not September,
On a warm Friday night in Houston.
It was nice, for just a moment, to forget
Where the Pinstripe season has gone this year
And instead to relish the moment
When new faces might be the Yankee future.
Shohei: How many years did you pitch?
Tommy: 26.
Shohei: How many after Tommy John surgery?
Tommy: Lucky 13.
Shohei: How many career home runs?
Tommy: 5.
Shohei: Oh. 166 less than me.
Tommy: And counting.
Shohei: I’m trying to unscramble my right arm.
Tommy: My left arm felt like it flew out to right field.
Shohei: Any advice?
Tommy: Dr. Frank Jobe said, “Replace the UCL.”
Shohei: Replace what?
Tommy: Elbow ligament with forearm tendon.
Tommy: Low odds of successful reconstruction.
Shohei: Let’s re-scramble.
Tommy: Ulnar.
Shohei: Lunar.
Tommy: What?
Shohei: Playing both ways was a moon shot!
Tommy: Collateral.
Shohei: LA call: “Tore.”
Tommy: Come again?
Shohei: Angels doc calls it a torn UCL!
Tommy: Ligament.
Shohei: Gilt amen.
Tommy: As in gold?
Shohei: Yes, amen to all the gold forsaken!
What I remember the most– is the silence,
a white orb in a blue sky,
me silently digging across the green grass–
a stretch beyond reach–
the ball striking my glove’s pocket.
Perhaps a tumble. Perhaps not.
Looking into third–
the coaches hands up!
You’re out,
and the runner
stopping,
stunned,
looking at me
cursing me with his body.
You’re out, young man.
You’re out.
Yes, the Braves right now
Are the best team in baseball,
And yes, the Yankees are riding
An historic implosion this season,
And yes [painfully, so painfully
If you’re a Yankee fan],
The three “games” were ugly.
But despite the doom and gloom,
There was a silver lining —
Michael Kay calling the game,
And David Cone and Paul O’Neil
Adding insightful, humorous
Commentary. The trio made this
Downward Yankees’ slide palatable.
Curve—yellow hammer—breaks down hard
Can the pitcher keep it in the yard?
Was it tougher to catch a pitch
From Mickey Lolich
Or to scaffold Ernie Harwell’s last act?
Now a voice of memory is stilled,
But promises were fulfilled.
He won a ring. He did his thing.
Known from Marquette to Flint,
His life’s work a flash, a glint,
A wind wafting through dozens of summers.
Stu Shea, the co-founder of Bardball, is the author of numerous books, including Calling the Game: Baseball Broadcasting from 1920 to the Present.
