Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
I hear some say
the wrong Ferrell is in the Hall of Fame
I think it’s a shame Wes isn’t in,
but I think I belong as well
Remember,
I was the catcher on the ’45 Senators
Sure, I led the league in passed balls that year,
but we had four knuckleballers in the starting rotation,
and that alone merits my inclusion
In far-off Buffalo,
Where midges fly
And the Blue Jays of Toronto
Now play their home games …
It was something special,
Something never seen before:
When the dust had settled,
At the end of the first inning,
People scratched their heads:
They’d just seen the Yankees turn
A 1-3-6-2-5-6 triple play —
The first in baseball history.
Cynical sportswriters called me Sly
because I played fast and loose with the rules
We nearly lost Bob Feller because of it,
but his and Bill’s desire for him to remain with Cleveland
because of our rapport as fellow Iowans,
plus the Commissioner’s decision
to save the owners from themselves
by forestalling a bidding war,
carried the day for us
We weren’t as fortunate with Tommy Henrich,
but we got lucky again with Lou Boudreau
Two out of three is a good batting average in rule-breaking,
so I guess maybe the sportswriters were right
Finally … a “grown-up victory,”
As the play-by-play guy said.
The frustrated faithful needed this.
Down 5-2, and fans grumbling
‘Bout the three-game slide and
“Not again. This is a division game!” …
But the Pinstripe bats woke up,
The bullpen came alive, and
Finally … a win for fans to relish.
It’s already one-third of the season,
And the Yankees are tumbling down
The Jack-and-Jill of five-hundred ball.
They’d better find a good reason
To turn around this sad season,
Or to paraphrase Yogi Berra, it’s
Going to get late early, very soon.