Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Atlanta Braves
Without a weakness—
Except for being human
And, thus, changeable.
Philadelphia Phillies
The leadoff hen lays
Or does not lay; she knows of
No other outcome.
Miami Marlins
One more year, no fish.
Can’t be my cheap bait—no way.
God just detests us.
New York Mets
Ah, spring of Butto!
Lucchesi! Bickford! Megill—
Just not Senga. Ow.
Washington Nationals
Land of limousines,
Riding on retreads: Senzel,
Gallo, and Winker.
Baltimore Orioles
July: Orioles
Will refuse to migrate south,
Seeking fall colors.
Boston Red Sox
Yes, every franchise
Is an Evil Empire now.
Game is in its Fall.
New York Yankees
Can the potential
Of overpowering bats
Overpower their age?
Tampa Bay Rays
Lesson of the old:
It takes a genius chef to
Make soup out of straw.
Toronto Blue Jays
An exhaustive search!
Team’s new radio guy is
The TV guy’s son.
Season’s new unis
tad revealing below belt
maker blames “lighting”
Stunning a nation
Shohei admits to marriage
finally gets a ring
No worries, Shohei
you won free agent jackpot
bank account’s healthy
Fred reports from Okinawa: “TV shows are already reporting from Dodgers’ training camp about Shohei’s every move.”