Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Arizona Diamondbacks
The sun shines hottest
On the king of the hill, but
How strong are your arms?
Colorado Rockies
Nobody can hear
The landslide coming until
The season’s ruined.
Los Angeles Dodgers
All your spring wishes,
Your summer smiles, meaningless
Until October.
San Diego Padres
Unlucky last year?
The key crops did not produce.
This is not a test.
San Francisco Giants
Grandson of the Wind
Carries major talent and
Great expectations.
Padres late game woes
shaky relief, broken glove
gift win to Dodgers
For those of you who missed first pitch at 06:00 EDT this morning.
Morning TV shows
photo of Shohei and wife
effusive gushing
Say hello to Mamiko Tanaka, former pro basketball player.
Houston Astros
Crass-tros, Disas-stros,
Even Garbage-can-smash-stros—
They’re still really good.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Orange County, California
It’s always Disney,
To us, anyway…but now,
No longer Showtime.
Oakland Athletics
Neither here nor there—
Big change only bothers those
Who are not in charge.
Seattle Mariners
Young, strong arms, spring’s joy.
Will Gilbert, Kirby, Miller
Get a “Woo Woo Woo”?
Texas Rangers
Now that we all know
About your autumn harvest,
You’d better watch yourself!
Chicago White Sox
Best to seek new park
Before taking the field with
A terrible team.
Cleveland Guardians
An empty cave, just
Like the Guardians’ lineup,
Hasn’t any bats.
Detroit Tigers
Actual prospects,
Bringing April to those who
Want to hope again.
Kansas City Royals
Tethered by contract,
Regardless of performance—
To Witt: 11 years.
Minnesota Twins
By the river live
Siblings united by love
For their baseballists.