by James Finn Garner
As journos daydream in their queries
On the chance of a Subway Series,
The Metros and Yanks
Wheeze, rattle and clank
And look set to commit hara-kiri.
The Queens Toreador
by James Finn Garner
Nothing makes Mets fans happy as
A bullpen call for Edwin DÃaz
The stadium pumps it
For that imperial trumpet
And what matador swagger he has.
Sound ‘em! 🎺 @TimmyTrumpet | @SugarDiaz39 pic.twitter.com/NEqEztrzn2
— New York Mets (@Mets) September 1, 2022
Ink With No Sinker
by James Finn Garner
To the list of baseball taboos
We can now add August tattoos
After ink was injected
Chapman’s leg got infected
Though on the DL he’ll hear fewer boos.
Dizzy for Glizzy Straws
by James Finn Garner
I can think of many things cleaner
Than drinking your beer through a wiener
But I applaud innovation
To advance our great nation
And New York is full of such dreamers.
Baseball games have been outta control recently. pic.twitter.com/ZRxi6U81tW
— Nicolas Heller (@NewYorkNico) August 23, 2022
Oh Noes! Here Come the O’s!
by James Finn Garner
A rebirth of the Baltimore birds?
It’s hard to put into words
A new kind of ardor
Down by the harbor
Who knows? They might finish third!