Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
by Hilary Barta
April Fools Rush In
To Wrigley the faithful had rushed
in hopes that the Pirates were crushed
From start to the finish
their wishes diminish
Till finally, fatally, flushed.
Opening Deluge
On schemes of the Cubbies it drizzled
as dreams of a “W” fizzled
It’s hard to succeed
when blowing a lead
Young Cubs fans already look grizzled.
Hilary Barta runs the site Limerwrecks, which is well worth your time and attention.
They called Ernie Banks “Mister Cub”
but Santo could sure be his sub
He bled Cubbie Blue
(They never came through)
For Ronnie, ah, that was the rub
Jim often posts under the pseudonym Norm Knott at LimerWrecks.
By James Finn Garner and Stuart Shea
Chicago Cub Xavier Nady
Fouled off a ball that injured a lady.
At her hospital bed,
He told her with dread,
“I should have laid offa that pitch, maybe.”
Coach Halas thought George wouldn’t stick,
but Blanda could still pass and kick.
.   For sixteen more years
.    he made it quite clear
no mind did he pay to Time’s tick.
George Blanda passed away Monday at the age of 83. He played 26 seasons of pro football as a quarterback and kicker, retiring a month shy of his 49th birthday.
A pitcher named Carlos Zambrano
Pitched the year rank as bat guano.
When asked why this was,
He replied, “It’s because
No one ever tells me ‘Te amo.'”