by James Finn Garner
Today is the deadline for trades
When postseasons might be lost or made
When bullpens are shored up
And weak squads are cored up
And scouts earn the money they’re paid.
Enter BP Sandman
by Michael X. Ferraro
Tomas Perez was on fire,
A Home Run Derby denier.
Acuña was flailing
At sliders prevailing–
Said Tomas, “You’re no Mark McGwire!”
Ronald Acuña Jr.’s terrible Home Run Derby pitcher had MLB fans making plenty of jokes
Royal Dumbasses
by James Finn Garner
What’s up with your team, Kansas City?
TEN players not vaxxed, what a pity!
Playing the Jays
Now needs scrubs and strays
The toll of ignorance isn’t pretty.
Then and Now
by Dan Campion
I watched Ernie Banks from the bleachers;
Those ’50s teams weren’t the best teachers,
But Ernie came through
With good cheer: “Let’s play two!”
Present stewardship? Crass overreachers.
Non-Apology Follows Non-Joke
by James Finn Garner
He doesn’t deserve any more ink
But that Yankee jagoff sure spread his stink.
Probably racist,
But whate’er the case is,
Douche is as douche does, I do think.