by Hilary Barta
Some pitchers who try and get tricky
Will switch to a substance that’s sticky
When hitters allege
This gives them an edge
Hurlers bitch that the league is too picky.
“You Can’t Possibly Think That”
by James Finn Garner
When the ASG did Manfred abort,
“Job creators” took baseball to court.
“Irreparable harm”?
The judged marked their smarm
And mocked how their case came up short.
“To say that the legal underpinnings of this lawsuit are weak and muddled is an understatement.”
Gorilla Wonders of the Diamond!
By James Finn Garner
To make every contest a thriller
Manfred should use these gorillas
Such power! Such poise!
These four-handed boys
Would grab fans from Maine to Manila.
Walk-Off Showoffs
by Hilary Barta
Once sluggers who slugged would forego
Making trots round the bases a show
Now they point to the sky
Flip the bat, wave goodbye
What theatrics await their next blow?
North Side Jekyll & Hyde
by James Finn Garner
This Cubs team elicits some frights
Swinging like scrubs, punchless some nights
Then, as if dosed,
Brute strength is exposed
Who knows which will show up tonight?
