Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
From the Cincinnati Times-Star, 1937, on announcer Red Barber’s consistent hawking of Wheaties cereal:
Red Barber has charm and he shows it,
And over the air he sure throws it–
But with all his entreaties
To munch those damned Wheaties
He eats ham and eggs and he knows it!
Rodón was hot from the get-go
Stalked the elusive perfecto
‘Til some hobbit-like feet
Made hearts skip a beat–
Still, a no-no for a guy who’d been let go.
AKA Holliday Road
The left foot of young Alec Bohm
Elusively angled toward home.
The ump called him safe,
Yet the Braves still chafe
Since the replay was clear as foam.
The elbow of Michael Conforto
created a major distort-o.
Kulpa fell for that bull
now the Met’s culpable
for a walk-off strikeout (?), Bad Sporto.
Mets-Marlins Game Ends in Controversy
Georgia pols made it harder to vote
So the All-Star Game traveled remote
No grand lib’rul vision
A mere corporate decision
Cuz MLB’s anything but woke.