by Michael X. Ferraro
The elbow of Michael Conforto
created a major distort-o.
Kulpa fell for that bull
now the Met’s culpable
for a walk-off strikeout (?), Bad Sporto.
Mets-Marlins Game Ends in Controversy
Now, About That Mascot
by James Finn Garner
Georgia pols made it harder to vote
So the All-Star Game traveled remote
No grand lib’rul vision
A mere corporate decision
Cuz MLB’s anything but woke.
No Rhubarbs with Ump Robots
by James Finn Garner
Whether it’s HAL 9000 or Robbie,
Don’t waste your breath, pal, to lobby
That the pitch was outside
Or the tag hit the slide—
You’re wrong, plus your credit score’s spotty.
Cubs, Sox To Open Stadiums
by James Finn Garner
If you yearn to watch Hendriks or Strop
You’d best learn to be cautious and hope
This doubleheader
Is no superspreader
Mask up, Verne, and don’t be a dope.
Bye, Don #2
by Greg
There once was a Dodger named Sutton
Whose pitches were right on the button
But when in a pinch
Sandpaper he’d clinch
And give the baseball a good scuffin’.
