by James Finn Garner
Whether it’s HAL 9000 or Robbie,
Don’t waste your breath, pal, to lobby
That the pitch was outside
Or the tag hit the slide—
You’re wrong, plus your credit score’s spotty.
Cubs, Sox To Open Stadiums
by James Finn Garner
If you yearn to watch Hendriks or Strop
You’d best learn to be cautious and hope
This doubleheader
Is no superspreader
Mask up, Verne, and don’t be a dope.
Bye, Don #2
by Greg
There once was a Dodger named Sutton
Whose pitches were right on the button
But when in a pinch
Sandpaper he’d clinch
And give the baseball a good scuffin’.
For the Record
by Hilary Barta
Remember when he passed Babe Ruth
And rounded bases, chased by youth
But don’t forget
While under threat
Of death — remember, that’s the truth.
Do the Right Ng
by James Finn Garner
All the brass knew from the beginning
Of the dash and the brains of Kim Ng
Took the last 30 years
To get past their fears
Bet they’re ordering glass for a new ceiling.