by Michael X. Ferraro
You should not take a lead on these Mets–
it will just lead to major regrets.
They show great restraint,
hit ’em where they ain’t,
and give rival fans real bad Tourette’s.
Two Lims for the Tiger Battery
by James Finn Garner
After Skubal slaps, shouts and shoves,
Hinch’s lineup card says “Any of the above.”
Starters, middle, bullpen?
“Pitching chaos” is in
A squad cardiac doctors can love.
Catching young Tiger pitchers, ol’ Jake
Rogers knows what each at-bat takes.
Low and out, high and in
He has learned what will win
When he calls for a pitch, please don’t shake.
Big Klu
by James Finn Garner
When Leo the Lip tried to name
The five strongest bats in the game
He omitted Ted Klu
Hinted he lived in the zoo
Human being? He’s not quite the same.
When Hall of Fame manager Leo Durocher was once asked by a writer to name five of the strongest players in baseball, he complied. However, when the writer pointed out that he’d left Ted Kluszewski off the list, Durocher huffed and said, “Kluszewski? I’m talking about human beings!” Happy 100th birthday, Big Klu!
The Whitless Rejection Program
by Michael X. Ferraro
While with Philly, Whit Merrifield stunk.
Got so bad that they tossed him like junk.
When the Braves picked him up,
Then his bat did erupt,
Now he sprays on the Phils like a skunk.
Whit Merrifield’s emotional comments hit Phillies hard after Braves’ win
How Not to Draw a Walk
By Hilary Barta
Some players are known for their spit
Far fewer for something they writ
This unusual bat
Should have its own stat
And with it the guy got a hit!
Toronto’s Ernie Clement comes prepared for class against the Cubs on August 16, 2024, Players Appreciation Day.