by James Finn Garner
Had Donaldson not lost his cool
Kicking dirt like an absolute tool
He’d be there to toss
Abreu out for a loss–
Instead Sox grab the playoff spot jewel.
Get a Grip
by Michael X. Ferraro
Z. Wheeler unleashed a big “Ow!,”
incurred while he put on his trou.
Are Zack’s slacks satanic?
Phils fans should all panic,
unless he gets manicured, NOW.
Reader’s Indigestion
by James Finn Garner
Per Redlegs ace Trevor Bauer,
Cubs’ chirping proved them wallflowers.
Does Trevor not know
The team’s trying to grow
Through “It Pays to Increase Your Word Power”?
Double Headaches
by James Finn Garner
This year’s pace is surely a killer
Each day, it seems, full of twin-billers
No games if team sick
Then make up double-quick
Giving players and doctors some shpilkis.
Rout by Clout
A double-limmer by Hilary Barta
Big knocks flying out of the park,
The Sox beat the Cubs in a lark
Jon Lester was tagged
As the best team four-bagged
Looked shocked as each bomb made its arc.
The Cubs fans at home become hushed
Their Buds to their bladders now rushed
Their foe’s homer hitting
Show no signs of quitting
Their hopes of success slowly crushed.