by James Finn Garner
T’other night, the M’s honored King Felix
And proceeded (coded in their double helix?)
To spot Kirby no runs.
Seattle’s daughters and sons
Still enjoy their salmon, coffee and analgesics.
Yo, Try a Little Tenderness
by Michael X. Ferraro
Them Boobirds of Philly? Nowhere to be found.
The bleachers now feature a more joyful sound.
Fans stopped screaming “Chump”
at a guy in a slump–
and their cheers sparked a Trea Turneround.
Trea Turner Thanks Phillies Fans for Standing Ovations with Billboard
Midsummer Stock
by James Finn Garner
The theatrical Yankees skip Boone
Had an act that made the crowds swoon:
Scratch a line in the sand,
Make an “Outta here!” stance,
And the rags say he’s the new Tommy Tune!
Fighting Like Only the White Sox Can
by James Finn Garner
Poor Timmy! Zonked by a double whammy
When he chose to throw hands with Joe Rami.
First Jose’s right hook
Left him cold as a chinook
And on the way down he twisted both hammies!
(Not really, but admit it, Sox fans — you still felt compelled to double-check.)
Minor League Letter Home
by James Finn Garner
Based on an incident witnessed on June 13, 2023, in a game between the Vancouver Canadians and the Hillsboro Hops.
I’m having a swell time, Pops,
Behind the plate for the Hillsboro Hops,
And speaking of swell,
I might rest a spell
After catching a foul tip in the knob.
