by James Finn Garner
Nelson Arraez takes the batting crown
But at .316 it’s historically down
So let’s ban the shift
To give the numbers a lift
And a pitch clock so batters aren’t clowned.
Nelson Arraez takes the batting crown
But at .316 it’s historically down
So let’s ban the shift
To give the numbers a lift
And a pitch clock so batters aren’t clowned.
So now we begin Season 2
Prepare for the Fox Sports retinue
With ignorant journos
And Taco Bell promos
We know summer’s pleasures are through.
It’s been a rough stretch for the Pale Hose,
A title expected by friends and foes.
The thing to do, fast,
Is to write off the past
And send off Big T for a nice doze.
To the 700 home run goup
We can add Pujols with a whoop
After that crank
He joins Babe, Bonds and Hank
And our joy in the game we recoup.
The MVP? It must be Ohtani
Hitter and pitcher, limber and brawny
But I won’t hold a grudge
If the voters choose Judge
His supporting cast isn’t nearly as clowny.