Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
The Hall of Fame’s honor and riches
Ron Santo deserved without pitches.
.     But denied for too long
.     Was the man’s well-earned song
By an old bunch of sons of bitches.
.
Ron’s a hero to folks diabetic
‘Cause on the field he was super-kinetic
.     Whether diving for balls
.     Or arguing calls
Or clicking his heels so aesthetic
At bat was the great Solomon Mitzvah
A clutch-hitting Jew from South Boston’s Yeshiva Finstah
He smashed the ball hard,
Straight out of the yard
But it bounced back and wounded his kishkah.
In the winter they swarm to Caracas
Where the fans, true to form, shake maracas
.     Down there all the players
.     Don’t wear many layers
As the sun keeps them warm in the tuchas.
This World Series sure done went screwy
with champs being wild card St. Looey
.    Midwest thinks it’s grand
.    but Cubs fans sneer and
collectively catcall, “Ah, Phooey!”
I wish Detroit had gone farther,
not so quickly emptied their larder
.    but I feel I’m in luck
.    to not hear Joe Buck
and double that for Colonel McCarver.