Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Eloy was my boy
His power was a gimme
A South Side homeboy
Just like Pico and Timmy.
These faces are all gone — oy!
Ruined, traded, DFA’d.
The advice of Sox coaches, boy,
Should make any player afraid.
Now there’s no joy
At 35th and Shields
Hope is destroyed
At Fill-in-the-Blank Field.
Should we ask the batboy?
Maybe he has a solution.
The EPA should deploy
To contain this pollution.
1B Gentleman Jim Hickman
2B Guy Ousley
SS Guy Sularz
3B Dude Esterbrook
LF Hi Ladd
CF Cool Papa Bell
RF Guy Curtright
C Chappy Lane
LHP Guy Hoffman, Rex Brothers
RHP Bob Feller, Robert Person, Bob Friend, Pete Ladd
MGR Manny Acta
What’s he doing out there
on the pitching mound?
He looks more like a bear
than a throwing hound.
Position players
say their prayers,
when the manager
says, “You’re my reliever.”
Babe Ruth began his career
with a pitch that hitters feared.
But when he traded in his ball,
His bat made him Bunyanesque tall.
When Brandon Crawford pitched
Batters were not bewitched.
He had an astronomical 27.00 ERA.
So what, he wasn’t even batting his weight.
Some say Triple Crown threat Shohei never shoulda
Pitched, even if imitate Cy Young he coulda.
But over a 162-game season,
Let’s have some fun with batting/pitching treason.
Dr. Oza’s novel Double Play sits at the intersection of Ernie Banks’ Cubs, the Negro Leagues, riding the El, wrongful convictions, immigration and friendship. It will be published in October 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.
One for the South Siders.
1B Pop Joy
2B Bill Smiley
SS Jurickson Prozac
3B Chipper Jones
LF Smead Jolley
CF Happy Felsch
RF Jim Gleeson
C Joe Garrulous-giola
LHP Happy Foreman, Drew Smyly, John Smiley, Aaron Laffey
RHP Happy Townsend, Julian Merryweather, Dave Jolly, Buddy Lively
MGR Jolly Cholly Grimm
