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Pete Rose Won’t Get in the Hall

by James Finn Garner

(To the tune of that old song by Poison)

That Charlie Hustle had more hits
No one can deny
With that Dorothy Hammill haircut
We’d watch that face-first slide

He was one of the sparks of the Big Red Machine
Putting a little down on the side
Then he lied about it all
How he lied
That’s why it’s clear

Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
Ain’t no chance of it at all
Just like Shoeless Joe won’t get the commissioner’s call
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall

He signed Rule 21 at the start of every year
It read “No Gambling” but some of that wasn’t clear
I guess he didn’t hear
Thought he could lead the team
But his ears worked right
When he asked at night, “You swear that you’re 16?”

Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
Ain’t no chance of it at all
Just like Shoeless Joe won’t get the commissioner’s call
(Not just ‘cuz they’re dead)
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall

 

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Summer Wind, Yankees Style

by HoraceClarke66

The summer wind was blowin’ out
At least half the year.
When Soto hit and Judge ran wild,
And we dreamed of golden rings.
Two monsters and the summer wind.

Like painted kites
Those long-ball nights
They went flyin’ by.
The world was new
’Neath a pinstriped blue
Umbrella sky.
Then worse than
Poor Gleyber ran
Cashman sent it askew.
We lost it with the summer wind.

The autumn wind,
The winter wind
Will come and go.
As Giants fall,
And Knicks appall,
Through another barren winter.

And yes those days,
Those dismal days
Will drag on and on.
As Gleyber clings
And Soto brings
Cheer to Flushing Meadow.
Where the hell can we go?

We’ll just have to wait,
For that same-old, same-old summer wind.

Originally appeared in the indispensable Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is…caught.

 

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The Road Less Traveled

by Randy Frost (as told to 18bit)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
But I know little about the game
And be one GM, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
Then traded for some broken arms;

I sold the farm, but just as fair,
And since I’m great at 4D chess,
I got some prospects, worse for wear;
And gave them to our training staff
Who never really know or care,

And then I sat back, thinking hard
The sky had started snowing fast.
The season was over, just for us!
Yet knowing how way leads to way,
I thought that I might win next year.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
I bought a has-been hitter, and put
together a rotten farm, but I sleep well
Hal don’t care, that makes all the difference.

This first appeared on the indispensable Yankee website, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is….caught.