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Sonny Gray

By HoraceClark66

With apologies to the Fab Four…

Sonny Gray is a pitcher you would hear about
It was said that he was very good indeed
But when you see him come and throw this muck
You say WTF?

Sonny Gray is in my ears and my eyes
Dear God, please make it stop!
Sonny Gray is a useless piece of junk
And once again he stunk.

Sonny Gray was quite the pitcher back in Oakland
But he hasn’t got a bit of guts or sand
He’s a useless gland
Ain’t it grand?

Sonny Gray is in my ears and in my eyes
Just like tse-tse flies
Sonny Gay deserves those blue suburban skies
After all our piteous cries
And not more rotten lies…

 

This parody originally appeared on the Yankee blog,  It is High, It is Far, It is . . . caught.

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Cubs Home Snowpener

by James Finn Garner

Oh, the weather outside is frigid
I’ve frozen off several digits
We’ve waited five months for this, y’all,
Let’s play ball, let’s play ball, let’s play ball!

White flakes on our caps and faces
And smudgepots at all the bases
It feels much less like spring than fall
Let’s play ball, let’s play ball, let’s play ball!

.   When the Cubs try and bunt one on
.   It’ll come out an infield snowman
.   Good thing Lester’s not on the mound
.   He can’t bounce it to pick off his man

The hurlers feel cold and rusty
The runners are harnessing huskies
It’s high time to start a pub crawl–
Let’s play ball, let’s play ball, let’s play ball!

 

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NOpening Day

by Raphael Badagliacca

What day this is I think I know
But who invited all this snow
To gather up its strength and throw
A white-out lights out shutout show

 

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The Night They Tried to Drive Ol’ Tyler Down

by Kevin Baker

With apologies to The Band.

Tyler Wade is the name, and I come on the Scranton train
Till Coops brought Walker in, tried to drive me back to PA again.
In the spring of 2018
A done deal it may have seemed
By the Ides of March, the Gleyber was done
And that Cave, he ain’t nobody’s fortunate son.

The night they tried to drive ol’ Tyler down
But I tell ya I ain’t goin’
The night they tried to drive ol’ Tyler down
But the plays just kept flowin’

Like Refsnyder before me
I tried to break in from below,
And like Judge above me
I started just a little slow,
But that Neil now, he is 32, and the back it just won’t do.
I swear that Coops oughta just desist
You can’t start a man when he’s on the disabled list.

And it’s the night, they tried to drive ol’ Tyler down
And I seen enough a’ that Scranton
The night they tried to drive ol’ Tyler down
Not my idea of fun
And I’m singin’ nyah-nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah.

 

This first appeared on the Yankee-mad blog, It is High, It is Far, It is . . . caught.Â