Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
You’re going to leave us now.
Merrily you roll along,
Roll along,
Roll along,
Merrily you roll along
Down to F-L-A.
No more cursing,
No more tweeting,
No more bull#@*&,
You’re going to leave us now.
Let’s see how you do in Miami
Miami
Miami
Let’s see how you do in Miami
With non-existent fans.
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Your act went on too long.
With the news this week of R.E.M’s final retirement, we present a song from The Baseball Project, a labor of love from R.E.M. member Peter Buck and session man Steve Wynn:
For more on The Baseball Project, visit their website.
Who can make a team rise, make it feel like new
With flesh the hue of choc’late, he brings a miracle or two
The Grandy Man, oh the Grandy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood
One of the greatest Yank “bros,” wears his stripes with pride
Hitting big home runs while his teammates “slide”
The Grandy Man, the Grandy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood
The Grandy Man makes everything he does satisfying, not capricious
Now you talk about your childhood wishes,
Far better than Swishalicious
Oh, who can heal like Apollo, wipe away bad dreams
Separate the sorrow and both right and lefties cream
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood
The Grandy Man makes everything he does satisfying, not capricious
Now you talk about your childhood wishes,
Far better than Swishalicious
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, who can heal like Apollo, wipe away bad dreams
Separate the sorrow and both right and lefties cream
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can
The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood
Yes, The Grandy Man can ’cause he brings a sure glove and applies good wood-a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man
Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man
Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man, a-Grandy Man….
You’ll find David posting with the rest of Yankee stalwarts over at It Is High, It Is Far, It Is….Caught.
Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin’ town
Those Chisox, those Chisox, they play like they’re clowns
Bet your bottom dollar even AJ could have won in Chicago, Chicago,
The town where poor Adam Dunn got shut down
On West 35th Street, that great street, I just want to say
They do things they don’t do on Broadway
Ozzie had the time, the worst time of his life
His bats went dead, unlike his hot-looking wife
In Chicago, Chicago, Joe Girardi’s home town
Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin’ town
Chicago, Chicago the Yanks will toss them around – we love it
Bet your bottom dollar Hughes will lose his blues in Chicago, Chicago,
The town where for six innings even he shut them down
On West 35th Street, that great street, I just want to say
They do things they don’t do on Broadway
Ozzie had the time, the worst time of his life
His bats went dead, unlike his hot-looking wife
In Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Joe Girardi’s home town