Get Me to Citifield on Time!

by David Bellel

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A salute to Ike Davis, one of the ball-playing members of the tribe.

I’m getting called up in the morning!
Ding dong!  The shofars are gonna blow real fine
Pull out the stopper!
Let’s have a (kosher) whopper!
But get me to Citifield on time!

I gotta be there in the mornin’
Spruced up with my cup aligned
Yids, come and bless me;
Bring choice salamis
But get me to Citifield on time!

If I want to hora,  roll up the floor.
If I am dovening,  close down my torah!

For I’m getting called up in the morning!
Ding dong!  The shofars are gonna blow real fine
Wrap up my blintzes.
But don’t lose the Tzimmes
But get me to Citifield,

Get me to Citifield,

For Moses’ sake, get me to Citifield on time!

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You can follow David on his blog, Pseudo-Intellectualism.

Posted 4/28/2010

The Last Time I Saw Maris

by Joe Pacheco

 

The last time I saw Maris
His hair was thin and gray,
He’d only hit just one home run
Since last Memorial Day.

The last time I saw Maris
His record still at risk,
In Babe Ruth’s town they’d brought him down
With bogus asterisk.

He smiled through all the muted cheers
That he had heard for years,
The chorus of ingratitude
Still ringing in his ears.

The last time I saw Maris
Was on Old-Timers Day,
Before the steroid sluggers
Came to batter his fame away.

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Posted 4/15/2010

Homer in the Ninth

by Todd Herges

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From the Ninth Book of Homer’s Odyssey         

(Lines 101-112, as translated by J. W. MACKAIL, c. 1905)                                                           

 

Then for a while, as long as morn was grey,            

And through the increase of the sacred day,             

Against them, though they far outnumbered us,       

We held our ground and kept in our array.               

 

But at the hour of the descending sun,                      

When from the plough the oxen are undone,            

Back the Ciconians drove the Achaean host             

And broke them, that escape we hardly won            

 

From death and doom:  but of my mail-clad host     

Six from each ship lay dead upon the coast.             

Thence we sailed on, escaping glad from death,       

Yet heart-sore for the comrades we had lost.            

                                                                                

 

Homer in the Ninth

 

Then for a while, as they in travel gray,

And through the weather of the autumn day,

Against them, though their fan base outsized ours,

We held our ground and kept L.A. at bay.

 

Long past the hour of the descending sun,

When from the beer the vendors are undone,

Back the Angelenos drove Manuel’s men

And broke them, that escape we hand’ly won

 

From season’s end:  beat’n by the red-clad host

The Dodger team lay dead upon our coast.

Thence we moved on, escaping glad from death,

Yet thankful Ryan Howard gives his most.

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Posted 10/22/2009

Throatsinging “Take Me Out To The Ballgame”

by Sid Yiddish

Our own Sid Yiddish melds the ancient art of throat singing with modern baseball fandom, seen here last year at the Lovable Losers Literary Revue, a reading series on the North Side of Chicago.  (The series spawned the collection Cubbie Blues:  100 Years of Waiting Til Next Year, full of essays, poems, and stories, on sale here.)

To see more of Sid’s poetry and music, go to his MySpace page, Two Dollar Cockroach.

Pirate S#&@

by Stu Shea

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Freddie and Jack play for Pittsburgh,
Losers for many a year,
It’s not hard to see
That this century
Local fans want a winner to cheer.

The Pirate ship’s listing and lurching,
Taking on water and flies.
Nobody’s good
And it’s understood
That “untouchable” doesn’t apply.

Freddie and Jack want new contracts.
Fred can’t play second at all.
Jack cannot hit,
And the team’s for s#&@,
These guys ain’t en route to The Hall.

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Posted 8/18/2009