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Life is Good

By James Finn Garner

Winter’s been raw as a campout in Banff.
Your new basement walls are moldy and damp.
Your drapes caught fire from a knocked over lamp—

.         Relax!
.         Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

Your check-writing hand’s developed a cramp,
Your bills are all due and you ain’t got a stamp,
Creditors cling to your neck like a clamp—

.          Smile!
.          Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

Your yard now faces a new freeway ramp.
Your son is engaged to a gold-digging tramp.
Your “guitar hero” neighbor’s just bought a new amp—

.         Life is good!
.         Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

Breaking news makes you break out in a rant.
You want to stop watching; duty says you can’t.
I fear Lady Liberty’s being measured for implants–

.         With luck we’ll survive,
.         And pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

 

First posted 2/13/2008; updated 2/15/17

 



The Team at Clark and Addison

Written, performed and produced by Matt Paolelli, Chris Paolelli, Joe Paolelli and Ben Paolelli



‘Twas Ever Thus

by Jim Siergey

Will the Cubs ne’er stop
being the Cubs?
Will the fall ne’er see an end
to their flubs?
Will there e’er be tears
spilt in beers inside pubs?
Ye can add to death and taxes
the Cubs always being the Cubs.

 



More Mistakes by the Lake

by Michael X. Ferraro

The Cavs’ title notwithstanding,
poor Cleveland’s back to Clevelanding–
a fielding fiasco
by Carlos Carrasco
plus Pryor’s alleged grandstanding.

 

Carlos Carrasco injured, exits after 2 pitches

The Browns get hosed on a ridiculous taunting penalty against Terrelle Pryor



Oh, You’ve Got Yourself a No-Trade Clause! (By Dr. T.S. Geisel)

By Stu Shea

You may think you’ve traded me,
For some prospect at Pulaski,
But call my agent–he knows laws.
I have myself a no-trade clause!

I will not go to this new town,
I will not go by air or ground!
You should have asked before you dealt,
Before you tried to swap my pelt,
If I would play for Greeber City,
Feembertown,
Or Veedenvelt.

 

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