by The Isotopes
Check out the rest of their music and support the Isotopes by visiting http://theisotopes.bandcamp.com.
Phil Hughes, What Happened to the Dream?
by David Bellel
Hughes, what happened to the dream?
You were once wonderful
The future ace of the team
What happened to the fastball of yours?
Now just a bp, gopher ball of yours
Batters granted big smiles from yours,
Sadly and truly.
Hughes, a juicer under a cloud?
We should have traded you away
But the gashman didn’t allow
We’d have IPK to ourselves
Alone and apart.
Not on a Padre team
But safe into our hearts.
Baseball
by Joshua J. Ballard and Connor Dooley
Connor and Josh performing their poem “Baseball” at The Cantab Lounge in Boston, Mass., at The National Poetry Slam in 2011. They were representing The Loser Slam venue from New Jersey.
Would You Like To Run the O’s?
by James Finn Garner
How would you like to run the O’s?
Round and neat
A team with such potential
Nearly ready to compete
You can earn a pretty penny
With it like so:
O! O! O!
Would you like to run the O’s?
Feathered and so fleet
Ready to contend in the
Wide-open AL East
It’ll cost you just your job
Ernie: My job?
The Salesman: SHHHHHH!
Ernie: (whispering) My job?
The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So take the job and watch the O’s take flight.
Now listen. When you run the O’s, you won’t be alone. All your decisions as GM will have to pass muster with a bunch of front-office yes men that Peter Angelos refuses to fire. That is, when he’s not meddling directly himself.
And if you get a name past them, he’ll still have to be approved by Buck Showalter in the dugout, who’s as stable as a three-legged dog most of the time.
So you can have a high-profile job with lots of pressure and no power, in the toughest division in baseball, for the most incompetent owner in the game. So tell me….
Would you like to run the O’s?
Take over for Andy McPhail
He couldn’t stand the heat
Now he’s got time to golf and sail
It’ll cost you just your job
Ernie: My job?
The Salesman: SHHHHHH!
Ernie:Â My job?
The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So run the O’s and change them overnight.
Did we mention our “proud heritage”?
Just run the O’s and change them overnight.
Don’t forget the crab cakes.
So run the O’s and change them overnight.
Hey, Tony Italiano
by David Bellel
The ‘birds were turned back by Napoli
And their hitting missed the scenery
Ron’s dances and Punto’s charming wrongs
But wait a minute, something’s wrong…
Hey, Tony, Tony Italiano!
Hey, Tony, Tony Italiano!
No, no, no; no World Series win for you, you Sicialiano