by Stewart O’Nan
The Tigers come in 6-0.
That’s not how they’re gonna go.
Our offense may not look like much–
a bunch of kids surrounding Cutch–
and sure, we’re missing Russell Martin,
Charlie Morton’s no longer startin’,
Volquez is gone, and bench coach Jeff Bannister
has a throne in Texas like a Bush or Lannister,
but A.J.’s back, and Cory Hart, Confederate soldier,
plus all the kids are one year older.
you don’t know,
so bring on the Cards,
the cream of the division,
and the Reds’ decidedly senior edition,
and the ‘roid-riddled Brew Crew,
and the overpraised Cubs.
We’ve got enough talent to hang with those clubs.
After years in the desert,
our wandering’s over.
Cutch is our Moses.
See you in October.
Let’s go Bucs!
Published in Pittsburgh Pirates, Players, Pure doggerel | Link to this poem | 1 Comment