Expert Color Commentary Prediction Haiku

by John Shea

BALTIMORE ORIOLES

“They might break even
if the young pitching improves.”
We’ve heard this before.

BOSTON RED SOX

After a tough loss
the new manager searches
for false-nose glasses

SEATTLE MARINERS

Jesus can create
a feast from loaves and fishes,
but Jesus can’t catch.

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES

With steroids now banned
normal aging will resume.
The cliff draws near.

DETROIT TIGERS

Trying to play third
when first base is a stretch could
drive a man to drink.