I’ll Believe It When I See It

by James Finn Garner

Arby’s is a gourmet taste
Fargo’s an exciting place
Roseanne boasts an hourglass waist
And Adam Dunn steals second base

The deficit has no room to grow
Charlie Sheen lays off the blow
Pope Benedict turns gigolo
Big Donkey beats the catcher’s throw

Olympic swimming power: Slovakia!
New fashions sewn of dieffenbachia
Cheney sports ears like Mr. Spock — Yah!
And Dunny steals on Saltalamacchia!

Published in Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, James Finn Garner, Players, Pure doggerel | Link to this poem | 3 Comments

I’ll Believe It When I See It: 3 Comments

  1. Todd Herges wrote,

    Holy Cow … that third stanza required some pretty serious syllabic dering-do. And somehow you pulled it off. Congrats!

    (BTW … it’s kind of obvious, but Saltalawhatchamacallit is in the MLB record book as having the last name with the most letters. Knocked Hollandsworth from the top spot with nary an asterisk needed.)

  2. Hilary Barta wrote,

    James Finn Garner just stole home.

  3. Stephen Jones wrote,

    Nicely turned.

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