Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
With apologies to Robert Frost
Some say the game will end with Nicky,
Some say Bryce.
From what I’ve seen of players gritty
I hold with those who favor Nicky.
But if it had to happen twice,
Say, if the game was going late,
I know that for destruction Bryce
Is also great
And would suffice.
1BÂ Â Tommy Thompson
2BÂ Â Pat Patterson
SSÂ Â Andy Anderson
3BÂ Â Bobby Robinson
LFÂ Â Willie Wilson
CFÂ Â Eddie Edmonson
RFÂ Â Jack Jackson
CÂ Â Benny Bengough
LHPÂ Â John Henry Johnson, Dave Davidson, Johnny Johnson
RHPÂ Â Tommy Toms, Johnny Johnson, Tommy Thomas
MGRÂ Â Dizzy Dismukes
Taylor and Tyler Rogers, Photo from GQ.com
Had the Dodgers
Lost just one more game,
This sub-600 season woulda been lame.
The winning percentage
Of most every other team,
Was surely a parity-lover’s dream.
Leaving aside the Angels, Marlins, Rockies,
And the historically bad White Sox,
All the other ballclubs had their shots.
Within sniffing distance of the wild card,
A couple of wins here and there
Woulda given your team a playoff share.
If the Mets and Tigers coulda
Advanced to the second round,
My Cubbies, too, shoulda stuck around.
Yeah, there may be MLB pair-a-tee,
But as Steve Goodman’s Dying Cubs Fans know
They still play the blues in Chi-ca-go.
Dr. Oza’s novel Double Play on the Red Line sits at the intersection of Ernie Banks’ Cubs, the Negro Leagues, riding the El, wrongful convictions, immigration and friendship. It will be published in October 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.
(To the tune of that old song by Poison)
That Charlie Hustle had more hits
No one can deny
With that Dorothy Hammill haircut
We’d watch that face-first slide
He was one of the sparks of the Big Red Machine
Putting a little down on the side
Then he lied about it all
How he lied
That’s why it’s clear
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
Ain’t no chance of it at all
Just like Shoeless Joe won’t get the commissioner’s call
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
He signed Rule 21 at the start of every year
It read “No Gambling” but some of that wasn’t clear
I guess he didn’t hear
Thought he could lead the team
But his ears worked right
When he asked at night, “You swear that you’re 16?”
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
Ain’t no chance of it at all
Just like Shoeless Joe won’t get the commissioner’s call
(Not just ‘cuz they’re dead)
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
After Skubal slaps, shouts and shoves,
Hinch’s lineup card says “Any of the above.”
Starters, middle, bullpen?
“Pitching chaos” is in
A squad cardiac doctors can love.
Catching young Tiger pitchers, ol’ Jake
Rogers knows what each at-bat takes.
Low and out, high and in
He has learned what will win
When he calls for a pitch, please don’t shake.
