by Lou Carlozo
Despite Barry Bonds’ many homers,
It appears that his body’s a loaner,
For his steroid technique
Birthed an android’s physique:
An aluminum bat for a boner.
Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
by Lou Carlozo
Despite Barry Bonds’ many homers,
It appears that his body’s a loaner,
For his steroid technique
Birthed an android’s physique:
An aluminum bat for a boner.
O give us a home
Where no buffalo roam
Under tarp by the baggie we play,
Where echos are heard
While Punto’s at third,
And at first hear JM say, “Eh.”
Dome, Dome for the deranged,
Why ever play baseball outside?
Fly balls disappear,
and hit speakers we fear.
Those carpet burns sure hurt when you slide.
Published 6/14/07
This is the saga of Battlin’ Mike Barrett,
A tiger of a man with fists of ore.
He’d raise his dukes and take on all comers,
Regardless the color of jersey they wore.
His mighty hands landed many a blow.
He never backed down from a brawl.
But such hardened paws don’t do you much good
When your job’s to be fielding the ball.
Posted 6/14/07.
by John G. Johnson
Verlander
Twenty-seven
Dropped
Posted the day after Justin Verlander’s no-hitter against the Brewers, 6/13/07
by James Finn Garner
I called it years ago.
What I called is
that you’re going to see
more
black faces, but there ain’t no English
going to be
coming out. …
[It’s about]
being able to tell
[Latin players]
what to do —
being able to
control
them.
You might get a guy to do it that way
for a while
because he wants to benefit,
but in the end, he is going to go back
to being
who he is.
And that’s
a person that
you’re going to talk to
with respect,
you’re going to talk to
like a man.
These are the things my race demands.
So, if you’re equally good as this Latin player,
guess who’s going to get sent home?
I know a lot of players
that are home now
can outplay
a lot of these guys.
From an interview in GQ Magazine, June 2007