Sermon on the First-Place Rays

by James Finn Garner

The first-place Rays?
The Tampa Bay Rays?
Are in first place?
What next? Oy vey!

Will pigs dance plies
As Earth starts to fray?
Or butterflies bray
Like proud dapple grays?
Will roosters now lay
Eggs filled with pate?
Or Felix Pie
Outhit Willie Mays?

Men, count ye the days
Til (the Bible says)
This world is ablaze
in a Doomsday haze!
In previous days
They were Devil Rays.
Deception can pay
In numerous ways.
Oh, kneel down and pray
For a heav’nly stay!
There’ll be hell to pay
For these first-place Rays!

Posted 5/14/08

Published in James Finn Garner, Pure doggerel, Tampa Bay Rays | Link to this poem | No Comments

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