The Cuban Misspeak Crisis

By Michael X. Ferraro

“Cheering the Beard” is such a thorny notion
It nearly got Ozzie chucked in the ocean.

Instead he crash-landed in water so hot
‘T’would turn a refugee raft ‘to a teapot.

Down in Miami, fidelity to Fidel
Earns one the stature of Eddie Gaedel.

So Guillen, he of cojones inflated,
Went way overboard and got Castro-ated!*

(* But while landing Hernandezes at the beach
Let’s try not to trample all over free speech.)


Michael X. Ferraro is a TV writer/producer and author of Numbelievable: The Dramatic Stories Behind the Most Memorable Numbers in Sports History and Tased & Amused: The Shocking Poetic Recap of the 2010 Baseball Season.

Published in Fans, Management, Miami Marlins, Pure doggerel, Scandals | Link to this poem | 6 Comments

The Cuban Misspeak Crisis: 6 Comments

  1. stu wrote,

    excellent poem!!

  2. Stephen Jones wrote,


  3. James Finn Garner wrote,

    Michael contacted me more than a year ago about contributing, and now, for his first piece, it’s timely, witty and well done.

  4. mxf wrote,

    aw shucks, thanks fellers. it’s great to find a site of kindred spirits.

  5. Hilary Barta wrote,

    Love it! You’ve inspired me.

    The Oz, who’s a talky hermano,
    In his mouth put a foot-length Cubano
    His feelings for Castro
    Would be a disastro,
    But he’s practiced at stepping in guano.

  6. James Finn Garner wrote,

    too funny

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