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In a Good Winter

by Richie Hebner

In a good winter,
I’ll dig 50 graves.

It’s good work.
I get 25 bucks a grave.

If it has snowed, you just use a pick and shovel, scoop away the snow, the ground is good and soft.
But if it hasn’t snowed, the ground might be frozen two feet down.
You have to use a pneumatic drill.

One time last winter, the ground was so hard and the weather was so cold I said,
“Ah, that’s deep enough.”
There’s a law that a grave’s got to be so deep,
five feet or something,

And the Rabbi says,
“That’s not deep enough.”

“Did you ever see one get out?”
I asked him.

h/t to Jim Koenigsberger and his great Twitter account, @Jimfrombaseball

 

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True North

by James Finn Garner

“Make Canada the 51st state!”
Brays a thief-liar-rapist in hate.
Compassionate, fair,
Straight-up, self-aware–
Canucks are all things he ain’t.

With my bear buddy, Buddy Brown Bear, at a Vancouver Canadians game, June 2023.

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It Ain’t Over . . .

by Louise Grieco

Baseball is something
like love. There’s an elegance
about it — a fine tension.

Fielders pluck comets
from thin and glorious air.
pitchers make solid spheres
disappear. And batters smash meteors
with matchsticks.

But fielders also topple
over fences, sprawl empty-handed
in the dust. Pitchers throw wild.
And batters sometimes tilt
at windmills.

Yet they lean in — watch — wait.
They risk looking foolish
in order to be brilliant.

Louise Grieco’s baseball poems often travel at lightspeed to the outer reaches of the galaxy. More a fan of the sport than of any particular team, she nevertheless rooted for the Yankees as a child growing up near Boston in the 1950’s-’60s. She lives and writes in Albany NY.

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Life is Good

by James Finn Garner

Winter’s been raw as a campout in Banff,
Your new basement walls are moldy and damp,
Your curtains caught fire from a knocked-over lamp —
.      Relax!
.      Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

Your check-writing hand’s developed a cramp,
Your bills are all due and you ain’t got a stamp,
Creditors cling to your neck like a clamp —
.      Smile!
.      Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

Your yard is now split by a new freeway ramp,
Your son is engaged to a gold-digging tramp,
Your “guitar hero” neighbor’s just bought a new amp —
.      Life is good!
.      Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.

 

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MLB All-Valentines-Day Team

1B   Pete Roses
2B   Cupid Childs
SS    Jake Flowers
3B   Candy Jim Taylor

LF   Barry Bon-Bonds
CF   Candy Maldonado
RF   Eros “Country” Slaughter

C    Gabby Heartnett

LHP   Slim Love, Vance Lovelace, Richard Lovelady
RHP   Ben Flowers, Bill Monbouquette, Vicente Amor

MGR   Bobby Valentine