“Hey There, Mark Buehrle”

(A love song inspired by Chicago’s very own Plain White T’s)

by John Renneke

Hey there, Mark Buehrle,
Don’t you go to New York City.
It’s one thousand miles away,
And Mark you throw your curve so pretty,
Yes you do,
Dice-K can’t shine as bright as you,
I swear it’s true,

Hey there, Mark Buehrle,
Don’t you worry about the distance,
We’ll make up the gap in no time,
Like LeBron against the Pistons.
Close your eyes.
Listen to my voice you’ll win the Cy,
And then we’ll cry

Oh it’s what you do to me,
Oh it’s what you do to me,
Oh it’s what you do to me,
Oh it’s what you do to me,
What you do to me.

Hey there, Mark Buehrle,
I know sometimes you’re hit hard,
But I believe in you to fight back
Like you do cuz you’re a star,
We’ll have it good,
We’ll beat the Cubs down like we should,
They aren’t that good.

Hey there, Mark Buehrle.
How I love to watch you play,
The way you get the ball and throw it
Whether at home or away.
You give it all,
No matter how far that we fall.

You give it all,
Oh it’s what you do to me,
Oh it’s what you do to me,
Oh it’s what you do to me,
Oh it’s what you do to me,
I know you grew up with the Cards,
but they’ve got Albert and other stars.
The south side’s where you’re loved the most by far.

Your friends may well make fun of you,
but we’ll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way.
Mark Buehrle, I can promise you
That by the time we get through,
The league will never ever be the same,
And you’re to blame.

Hey there, Mark Buehrle,
You be good and don’t be foolish.
Four more years and sixty million,
We’ll get back to making history like we do.
You’ll know it’s all because of you.
You can do whatever you want to.

Hey there, Mark Buehrle, here’s to you,
This ones for you.

Oh sign on the dotted line,
Oh sign on the dotted line,
Oh sign on the dotted line,
Oh sign on the dotted line,
On the dotted line.

7/5/07

Ode to the KingDome

by Todd Pheifer

When I was a boy,
I would go to the Dome,
The Dome that the people called King

To watch my M’s play
And undoubtedly lose,
But in the 7th, at least we could sing.

Eventually the roof
With its rain-soaked tiles
Began to fall to the ground
In little lawsuit-friendly piles,

So the men with the dynamite
Were called to the site
And the Dome was extinguished
With a BOOM in the night.

7/3/07 

The Ballad of Jack Cust

I.

Jack Cust

Has become a must!

Beating pitchers into dust.

Jack Cust

Has earned the trust

Of Oakland fans with home-run lust.

Jack Cust

Is free of rust

Despite demotions so unjust.

II.

Billy Beane sussed that Jack Cust

Wouldn’t go bust.

But even he must be nonplussed

By the heroic thrust

Of Jack Cust.