By George Castle
There once was a coach named Mazzone
Whose teachings fit teams to a tee,
But Orioles changes left him all alone
And he got axed by boss Andrew B.
Posted 10/15/07
“99 Years of Cub Losses”
by Tom LaTourette
Posted 10/14/07
Two from Queen of Angels School, Chicago
Heroes to Zeroes
by Courtney Smith
The Cubs used to be my heroes,
But now they’re big fat zeroes.
We say, “Playoffs, here we come!”
But playoffs they’ve never won,
Except in 1908.
Other than that, it’s not their fate.
Strike one, strike two, strike three–yer out!
It’s the Cubs, without a doubt.
Go, Cubs, Gone!
By Keenan Feller
Go, Cubs, Gone!
They lost their game,
They make me yawn.
They lost their fame.
I said, “Oh hey”
When I heard their name,
And now I say,
“Oh, what a shame.”
How sad it is
To be a fan.
The playoffs ended in a whiz.
Oh gee, aww man.
I thought this year,
“Oh yes they can.”
Again you hear,
“Oh gee, aww man.”
So now they blew it.
Their season’s drawn.
I really thought they could do it,
But I guess I was wrong.
It’s not a good way
That their season’s gone.
So what do ya say…
Go, Cubs, Gone.
Posted 10/12/07Â
The Blue Jay Way
by James Finn Garner
The Jays landed simply a smidge above .500.
Their season has strolled by, not thundered.
No highs of joining a pennant race,
No lows of wallowing in last place,
No untoward attention-getting,
No clubhouse brawls, no fretting
About performance enhancers,
No dog fights, gunplay, or nude dancers.
A campaign so nice and proper
Would never face charges of treason.
How very Canadian of the Jays
To enjoy such an adequate season!
Posted 10/11/07Â
Saving His Zambrano for a Sunday!
A Calypso meditation on playoff loss in three verses and a pliable chorus
By Lou Carlozo
Now manager Lou, he had things to do
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
Pulled out his hot pitcher, put in a belly-itcher
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
Now it’s fitting the reliever’s name was Marmol
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
‘Cause in the playoff pressure-cooker, melt like stove-top car’mel
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
But Lou’s saving … saving …
Saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!
Get out of the room with your gloom and doom
‘Cause he’s saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!
When the bases are loaded and there’s only out
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
You don’t swing, DeRosa, with a 3-and-1 count
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
You kill a big rally with a wimpy double play
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
And turn Wrigley Field into Confines of Dismay
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
But we’re saving … saving …
Saving our Zambrano for a Sunday!
When the Cubs come back, we’ll be on the attack
And we’re saving our Zambrano for a Sunday!
But the Cubs got swept and the fans they wept
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
Bartman’s home laughing and Goat’s curse is kept
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
Now Carlos runs my errands at the Home Depot
(cause we saved up our Zambrano for a Sunday!)
‘Cause with Wrigley closed, he’s got no place to go
(saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!)
And he’s saving … saving …
Saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!
It’s Cub fan’s zen …
Til next millennium
Saving his Zambrano for a Sunday!
And we’re saving … saving …
Saving our Zambrano for a Sunday!
Saving our Zambrano for that rainy day …
But in baseball when it rains … you just don’t play…
Posted 10/10/07