Posted on

One Born Every Minute

by Sid Yiddish

I’ll never puke at home, yessirree,
While watching Fukudome play baseball on TV.
His hitting is sensational, a real superstar in his prime.

It’s just that…well, he plays for the Cubs,
America’s loveable losers, the Major League’s true blue flubs.

And well, I doubt he was brought in just for his ability to hit, no management needs to sell tickets and you can’t sell tickets to a game, if the team plays so lame, so you need to ornamentate the actuality with a little gold lame’.

Just to bring the suckers in…

Yeah, there’s one born every minute.

Posted 4/23/08 

Posted on

Ode to the Pontiff

By Doug White

The Pope in his big funny hat
Gave mass where Joe Torre once sat

A little old lady
Said, “Well yea, but maybe

What would Ron Blomberg say about that?”

Posted 4/21/08 

Posted on

The Game of the Name

by Stu Shea

I.
Gallardo and Bazardo and Pichardo and DiNardo.
Baseball names are the funniest words,
Spoken loudly in public context.
You never know what’s next—
The announcer may yell, “Uggla, deep to left!”
Which only makes sense if you know the game.
What, indeed, is in a name?
Someone named “Pujols” can feel no shame…
In fact, he’s a hero instead of a zero.

II.
Prince Fielder can’t field,
And Lackey won’t yield,
Webb catches hitters, and Young’s getting old,
Holliday’s happy, but the Giants can’t Winn,
Corey’s got Hart and J.J. is Hardy,
Does Ryan need Church to wash away sin?

III.
I-Rod,
A-Rod,
K-Rod.

Posted 4/17/08

Posted on

Dr. Seuss, Meet Brad Hawpe

by James Finn Garner

It’s fun to watch the pitchers gawp
When Brad Hawpe
Comes up to bat,

‘Cuz, just like that,
With one blow,
A scoreless tie becomes 3-0.

So if you want your fans to yawp!
You need a player like Brad Hawpe.

Posted 4/16/08.