Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
ARIZONA
As snakes in the grass
Lie in wait for their prey…Nah.
This team is just old.
COLORADO
Wise beyond his years,
or simply out of his league?
Walt Weiss’ springtime.
LOS ANGELES
Gold, silver, riches
beyond all compare will buy
just one Zack Greinke.
SAN DIEGO
At least it’s always
a lovely place to work on
The perfect suntan.
SAN FRANCISCO
Ladies: when seeking
wealthy East Bay pensioners,
Look for Series rings.
Tinker to Evers to Chance–
Baseball did advance.
So, bring on the verse;
you could do worse
by spending your time on a dance.
There’s the ball for a buck they call “money”
On the cheap it buys clover and honey
.     Then there’s Yankee outspending
.     Which can bank happy ending(s)
What the Cubs buy just sucks and ain’t funny
The long-suffering Hilary Barta blogs limericks every day at his site LimerWrecks.
CHICAGO
A brand-new playpen?
That’s just a distraction for
Your crumbling bones.
CINCINNATI
As we get older
We learn to use our wisdom.
What’s Dusty’s excuse?
MILWAUKEE
I’d walk a mile for
A Gamel–a healthy one.
Now: power outage.
PITTSBURGH
Brand new calendar,
Same old days. Same old people.
Same old misery.
ST. LOUIS
Another spring, a
Young man in charge–well, young by
Managing standards…
Dock Ellis dropping LSD
Yankee pitchers swapping keys
The Bird and Bill Lee spacing out
The Babe battling the clap and gout
While these actions might be reckless,
Modern players seem so feckless,
Corporate suits with all the spice
Of a Pepsi Lite with lime, no ice.
I want to bellow: “Why be normal?
“Show some life! Don’t be so formal!”
It’s more fun to watch Lee Van Cleef
Than cheer for Wally without the Beave.