Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

Is Haiku foolish?
For the national pastime?
Heavens, I hope not.

NL West
Arizona
Nice guys finish last
Crabby managers do win
They still need pitching

Los Angeles
Is money the key?
It can bring in the big names
No, it’s the scouting

Colorado
Thin air skews his stats.
Is Todd a Hall of Famer?
No, probably not

San Francisco
We won it all twice…
With an absence of offense
Only even years

San Diego
A beautiful park
The only Hall of Famer
Is up in the booth

NL East
Atlanta
Fourteen in a row
Is not so impossible
It might start this year

Washington
First picks starting games
Davey says this is his last
A doormat no more

Philadelphia
A team on the rise
They are not now any more
We all miss Harry

New York
A small pantheon
But will be growing soon now
Matt Harvey’s a star

Miami
Was ever team
More worthy than its owner
To be in the Bigs?

NL Central
St. Louis
The league’s best record
They have birds on their jerseys
We all will miss Stan

Pittsburgh
A great tradition
Lives on in the memory of fans
Maybe the year’s here!

Cincinnati
Phillips is wondrous
The rest are outstanding too
It’s Dusty’s last year

Chicago
The city’s windy
Is anything more constant
Than fans’ apathy?

Milwaukee
Segura is great
John Axford is clean shaven
Nicest fans ever

 

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.

Minnesota Twins — New York Yankees, July 14, 2013

by Stephen Jones

No easy way to describe –
The Yankees seem alive –
But Minnesota’s brood
Is a thorn in New York’s ashwood.
I am watching in proverbial
Disbelief – this game has all
The earmarks of Murphy’s Law
Of baseball in place: This may be
The Ugliest Game I’ve seen so far.
A team meltdown from mound to plate –
And the glove-load of on-field mistakes?
I am switching,
Before this gets embarrassing,
To something more fulfilling . . .
Like antiques or cooking.

 

Let Me State Our Position Loud and Clerihew (All-Star Edition)

by James Finn Garner

Michael Cuddyer
Might hit the ball higher
On the moon, which has thinner air
Than Denvair.

Dustin Pedroia
Suffers from paranoia.
Though he doesn’t dislike him,
He’s sure the base runner wants to spike him.

Yoenis Cespedes
Doesn’t need us.
He keeps his cool by hitting homers
And ignoring racist tweets from gomers.

Miguel Cabrera
At the plate is a terra.
He’ll win a second Triple Crown
With his mates in Motown.

 

A Poetic Crime, Clerihew and Simple (All-Star Edition)

by James Finn Garner

We live in the era
Of Mariano Rivera,
Which will serve to measure historic flow:
Dates will henceforth be noted either BMo or AMo (Before or After Mo).

Edwin Encarnacion
Handles his first base stacion
With skill and bravado
That is the toast of Canado.

Hernandez (Felix)
Somewhere in his DNA’s double helix
Has a velocity gene,
Thus his fastball is never seen.

Hiroshi Iwakuma,
According to ruma,
Pitches well in the state of Washington,
But I’m in bed before their games are done.